How to ask for help (a simple script)

A specific, time-bounded ask is easier to say and easier to say yes to.
Read it →Say what you need. Here is how.6 short steps; you can stop at any point.
Why it works: People say yes far more often than we expect. In a series of experiments, people underestimated by about half how many others would agree to a direct request for help. Flynn and Lake, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2008
STEP 1 OF 6 · Start
There is something you need help with. Maybe you are too tired, too confused, or too scared to do it alone. Asking for help is not weak. It is smart.
Most people want to help. They are just waiting for you to ask. We are going to build a script so it feels less scary.
STEP 2 OF 6 · Choose
Think of something specific. Not 'I am struggling' but 'I need help understanding chapter 4.' Be clear about what you actually need.
STEP 3 OF 6 · Choose
Pick someone you trust. Someone who has helped before, or who you think would want to.
Not someone you think will say no, or be mean about it. Pick someone safe.
STEP 4 OF 6 · Write
Use this format: 'I need help with [specific thing]. Can you [specific ask]?'
Be clear and specific. Vague asks are harder to say yes to.
STEP 5 OF 6 · Write
Read your script out loud a few times. It will feel strange the first time.
That is normal. Once you have said it, come back here.
STEP 6 OF 6 · Reflect
You know what you need. You have a way to ask for it.
They might say yes. They might ask questions.
Both are okay. You are brave for asking.
Your answers stay on this page. Nothing is sent to us. In the app, they're saved to your account and stay private.

A specific, time-bounded ask is easier to say and easier to say yes to.
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